Pass It On: My response to Nash Grier

There was a video on YouTube posted by Nash Grier, an attractive sixteen year old Vine star, which has since caused a lot of upset in the YouTube community. The cringe-worthy video is entitled "What Guys Look For in Girls" and has since been taken down by Nash, however once something is put on the internet it is never gone for good.

In the video, Nash is with Cameron Dallas (also of Vine fame) and Jc Caylen (member of YouTube collab channel OurSecondLife) and they are discussing what they look for in girls. Which has been done many times before on YouTube by several people, However it is not done in the manner that these boys decided to do. This video is contradicting, hurtful, and wasn't the least bit thought out.

"Be entertaining, but don't be too loud because that's annoying" (..okay)
"Let there be a chase; but don't play too hard to get, and also don't be too easy because you're probably a whore" (slutshaming, NICE)
"The natural look is great, but remove your body hair" (THIS ONE)
"Don't wear lipstick because then I won't be able to kiss you" (I will wear whatever I want, thanks)
"Don't draw on your eyebrows" (GOOD ONE)
"Have your natural hair, but change it often" (Um)
"A girl that's good at video games, but not obsessed because that isn't cute" (HA)

So basically what he's saying is: BE YOURSELF BUT ALSO CHANGE EVERYTHING. This video irks me for several reasons and I want to go through them all. First off, Jc Caylen is 21 years old,  He is an adult and should have known that this video was wrong. Not that he said any hurtful things (It was mostly Nash and Cameron) but he sat through it and didn't think to say that it was wrong or it was a bad idea. I am a fan of Jc and O2L, I was just very disappointed to see this. Second off, they didn't pay any attention to the fact that the audience seeing this video would be 99% teenage girls, who would then get the thought "okay, in order for myself to be attractive, I need to do all of this while maintaining my sense of self". It's toxic and not alright. They were being completely unrealistic and Nash tried to justify it as "just trying to make girls with these attributes feel good about themselves" in a Twitter apology saying that the bottom line that  the message he was sending in the video was for girls to be themselves because that's the most attractive thing they could do. That was a 20 second message in a 9+ minute video, just saying "be yourself" won't make up for making millions of young girls feel awful because they don't fit your image.

Now I want to get more into talking about all the contradictions made about the image that they want in a girl. I think that most guys don't understand that when girls put on makeup they are doing it for THEMSELVES, Not to impress a boy. They like the way it makes them feel and to tell a girl not to wear lipstick because you don't like it is like saying "throw out your PS4 because I don't like it". Not very nice, is it? If a girl wants to wear lipstick and fill in her eyebrows she is allowed because it is her god-given right to do whatever the hell she wants because it is her body, and her life and it should not concern you one bit.

As for the body hair issue, which COMPLETELY blew my mind that they had the audacity to even go there and make a huge deal about it. What Nash does not seem to understand is that some girls are extremely insecure (myself included) about body hair and to cause the scene that he did probably made a lot of girls feel horrible. While growing up I was insecure about the hair on my arms and upper lip. One day on the bus another girl pointed to me and made a comment about how I should shave and ever since then it has been something I try to hide and make less noticeable. Another thing that he doesn't understand is that in order to wax body hair, you need to grow it out so it's long enough so even his "ideal hairless girl" will have to grow body hair for a couple weeks. What then? Will he break up with her because her leg hair is longer than his? (if he even has any).

In conclusion, I feel like these boys will be feeling the consequences from this video for a very, very, very long time. Because when even Hank Green makes a comment on how what you did was wrong, you know you screwed up.

My 2013 in Review

Happy New Year everyone! Before I start talking about my hopes and goals for the new year I want to look back at my 2013 and share it with you.

Highlights
- 5 concerts (All Time Low, Taylor Swift, Marianas Trench, Jonas Brothers, Fall Out Boy)
- Figured out what I wanted to do with my life
- Started college
- Really started watching YouTube
- My beautiful baby cousin, Hilary was born
- I got a job

Lessons Learned.
1) Don't drag things out, rip off the band-aid . I ended my first (almost) relationship after thinking about it miserably for a month, I got to the point where I was up at night worrying about it. Eventually I just decided to make that move and I felt so relieved

2) When you enjoy school, you will be more successful. In high school I never did exceptionally well. I didn't fail any of my classes but I wasn't one to strive for good marks. I had a "meh, good enough" mentality because I didn't care. Now that I am in college, learning things that interest me, I finished my semester with a 81.4 % average.

3) Stop hating your body, accept your imperfections. I know that I will never be a model, I am too short and quite curvy and I have decided that instead of forcing myself into a strict diet, to accept my body for how it is.

4) People do not change. There is no point in thinking someone from your past is "different now" because you haven't talked to them in a year and a half. They will not be a new person, they have the same morals and standards and you will just realize why you stopped talking to them in the first place.

5) Make mistakes. It's how you learn life's important lessons. Don't be afraid to screw up and make a couple of mistakes, Admit it to yourself and move on.

6) Use sunscreen. This is self explanatory but I got the worst sunburn I had ever experienced and now that I am going to school for esthetics I know how easy the skin can be damaged.

7)Tell people how you feel. It's better to say too much and scare someone away than to say too little. If they decide to leave then they don't deserve to be in your life.

I hope that 2014 is filled with plenty of new experiences, good and bad. And I can'y wait to embrace it all.
You can expect plenty of posts in the future about beauty and fashion and life advice on this little old blog. I want this to be the year that I commit to this.

xoJess

What's on my Christmas List 2013

Hey everyone! Since it is that time of year I thought I would share what's on my Christmas list

1. Fujifilm Instax Mini 8

I have always loved Polaroid cameras and these are just so cute and I have wanted one for a while now!

2.Naked3

What kind of makeup loving girl would I be if I didn't want one of these? I am obsessed with the rose tones and need to get my hands on this very very soon

3. iPod Classic
I am a huge music lover and my 16gb iPod nano is slowly dying on me and these babies can have a lot of space on them and will fulfill all my needs

4. Steve Madden 'Troopa' Combat Boots
These have been on my wishlist for a few months now and I can't help but stare every time I see them in a shoe store. They are the perfect combat boots.

5. Our Moment
Since I am totally and completely obsessed with One Direction, it is obvious that this is on my list. I tried one of the samples while I was in the mall the other day and it smelt so amazing.

6. A Good Camera???
Something I really want to do for 2014 is really get on board with my blogging (and other projects) and in order to do that, I really need a camera. I'm going to be writing a post with some of my goals in the near future but all I know is that 2014 is a year that I want to be life changing and I want to make something of myself and I hope that there will be people to stand behind me to see me succeed.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and let me know whats on your Christmas list!

xoJess

Pass it on: A post about self love and not looking like a model (but also not bashing models because that isn't cool)

 Tonight I sat in front of my TV to watch the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. This was the first year I had watched it while it was televised or really been interested in it. Last year I saw a video on YouTube of the 2012 fashion show and it made me realize that it is SO much more than skinny girls walking around in lingerie. It's a production that takes nine months to plan and needs a team of 26 make up artists, 22 hair stylists and eight manicurists. This is an event that they work for all year long and the one night where they get to show an entire room of people everything they've got. And they own it.

On Twitter before, during, and even after the show, people were just assuming that these models are just pretty faces with perfect bodies and no brains. It's part of their lives to look the way that they do and they work their asses off  and deserve respect. I'm sure it isn't easy to do what they do for a living and they probably do have their own struggles but there is no need to dehumanize them. Adriana Lima wanted to be a doctor, and got into modeling by mistake and stuck with it, Miranda Kerr (possibly one of the most beautiful woman on the planet in my opinion) was a gymnast as a child and got into modeling when she was "too tall" to go any further, Erin Heatherton almost turned down a modeling contract for a basketball scholarship and Lindsay Ellingson was going to UC San Diego before being scouted. Not one of these women had set out to be models.

Another thing that I am bothered by is the amount of people who were claiming that the models "too skinny" and need to eat something and it made me really angry. Not everyone is built to be a model, it isn't in everyone's genetics. But saying that someone is too skinny is just as bad as saying someone is too fat. Sometimes it is out of their control, it can be genetic or they could have a fast metabolism. Bashing them for being thin won't solve anything. When they are dieting, they do it in a healthy way. Adriana Lima goes to a nutritionist before beginning a strict 6 week diet consisting of a gallon of water a day and several protein shakes as well as taking vitamins. She does not just starve herself to look that way. The average VS model is 5'9 - 5'10 with the measurements of 34-24-34. And not all of the models are sizes 0 or 2. Doutzen Kroes is a size 6 but nobody hears about that. These woman live a healthy lifestyle with a good diet and exercise, they work for what they have because it is their jobs.

I think that people get so caught up in all that, they forget to appreciate themselves and their own bodies. I am 5'3, I weigh around 130 pounds and I will never be a model and I am perfectly okay with that. I am learning how to love my body but it doesn't mean I don't have those days when I want to rip my hair out and cut the fat off my thighs. I take a minute and relax, I tell myself that I am only human, this is the way I am built and I should be okay with this. I go for an apple instead of kettle chips (I do love me some kettle chips though). I know that if i want to change something about my body that it is up to me and only me.

 The point is, if you don't like something about your body, its up to you to change it in a safe, healthy way. And if you're happy with who you are and how you look, more power to you. We all need to remember that we are all human, we are all built differently and we need to love ourselves first. There is no harm in looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you are okay with the way you look. You will always have those bad days where your jeans don't fit right or your hair isn't cooperating but love yourself anyways. Tell yourself that you have nice eyes or a cute butt. Appreciate your boob size. Find an outfit that makes your body look killer and wear it whenever you are feeling down. Don't be afraid to eat a doughnut, but at the same time it's okay to want to try a juice cleanse or a new diet for a little bit. Do whatever makes yourself feel good.

Love yourself.
Pass it on.

I <3 Sweaters

I just wanted to share some cute mirror selfies I took in the change room of Forever 21 on Friday while I was shopping for some new sweaters

The first one (which I bought) is plan black, knitted with a white X on it. I thought it was cute, plain and simple and would be a wonderful addition to my fall/winter wardrobe and I can't wait I style it.

The middle one is grey and says Boy Los Angeles (much like Boy London), I did not get this but I plan to order it very soon

The last one is my favourite that I bought. It's a super warm white crewneck with Minnie Mouse's head with a gold chain around it.

I hope to write more posts like this in the future!

Man Candy Monday

In honor of  their third album out November 25th (THAT'S TODAY) I have no other choice but to award this week's MCM to...

Tattoo?!

So as I said before, I was going to make a post to talk about my forth and newest tattoo and here it is!

Bit of a back story:

1. It is a daisy, my favourite flower

2. It is inspired by John Green's novel Looking For Alaska, which is my favourite book of all time

John Green is my favourite author and I had been thinking for a while now that I wanted something to show my love and appreciation for him and his works. I wanted something simple, but couldn't put my finger on what exactly I wanted. 

3. While in my last semester of high school I read Looking for Alaska five times. It was my safe haven. I felt like I could relate a lot to the main character, and I longed to be more like Alaska Young. She was reckless, beautiful and just didn't care much, which was the complete opposite of what I felt I was. 

XO Jess.